Back to the days when we were so young and wild and free
neverlookback-05.blogspot.com
♥ Sunday, October 19, 2008♥
☆
went back to school for exams ytd morning. for the first time, i arrived on time for examinations. was like, 15mins ealier?
& i was the only one who went for the sub pp tutorial. my classmates were all unaware of it, & they were all cursing me. & some took a quick glance at my notes.
all the exam questions came out! wee. erm. but still not much confidence. but lecturer was smart, still gave me extra qns at the tutorial.
finished in 50mins time. and can only leave at 11am. & guess what. received a msg, asking me how's my exam & i failed right? bad ass! haha.
bus-ed back to hougang. meet up with baolai. & the idiot chiwawa is very very late AGAIN! he haven't even bathe when we're downstairs alrdy.
then we walked to ATM, back to the minimart. & he's finally done. cabbed over to Sheng Shiong, plus shijie. saw des on the way and uncle was kind to fetch him as well! hahaha.
they bought martell! & some food. shijie & jiawen left for 805 to buy food. but in the end also don't have. so they went NTUC.
then they guys wheeled the Sheng Shiong trolley back to des place. so funny. haha.
pro uncles choosing potatoes. (: trolley stealer.
jiawen is still camera-shy. & shijie wore jeans to bbq cause he don't want do shit job. haha!
then i cabbed home from there to take my laptop. & went over to bl's hse to meet jiawen & shijie. shijie took a video clip of jiawen. it was so funny. got jiawen chasing me all over the place for my phone. luckily we clever, send into laptop alrdy! :DD
then bl & des came over. helped out with the stuffs. i did help! hahah. so no camera woman.
then sok, yetlim, shermin, mac, dixon, peiwah, enaye came over. i think i nv left out anyone?
my 2 pretty(s). they looked so serious.
don't wish to talk abt the 2nd part of the bbq. some stuffs happened btw we girls. so the mood was kind of spoiled. hmm. linny & her boyfriend came over to to meet me & sok for awhile.
linny's boots. haha.
then went back over to bl hse, complained of hunger. cause i was running here & there, didn't eat much.
then we went 682 to eat. but something wrong with my stomach. not hungry, but pain. besides, somebody(not my girls, of course) spoiled my appetite! should have put my hands in my pockets. bleah. so didn't eat. then went back jw hse void deck to slack with jw & bl. went home at 3plus.
i think i'm gonna be a good girl today. maybe lah... lol. i'm hungry. ):
just now went town to meet baolai for dinner. it was his night off from camp. today, i understood what night off is. hah!
then he kept rushing me, in the end, he's late! and he should be thankful i didn't use the spanner to whack him. lol.
wanted to have dinner at Fish & Co! but something cropped up. eeeeeee. I WANT FISH & CO!
changed to Far East Plaza. Carl's Jr instead. the burgers are enormous. (bigger than what i ordered the last time)
i hope i can have a pleasant saturday. there's gonna be bbq. but maybe not again. omg. i want my peaceful life back. my brain is gonna burst. my headache is killing me.
i haven't been sleeping well today. i need sleep, no sweet dreams needed.
i'm having a major headache right now. mentally & physically!
why is our lives sooooooooo complicated & messy? wtf. why are all these things happening? i just feel like gg into a coma right now. then everything will be fine when i wake up?
i wonder why did all these happen? misunderstandings & more misunderstandings. aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i better keep my mouth SHUT if not, i don't know what else i will say here!
i really don't want my bi to be misunderstood. you stupid idiots know nothing. ): bi, cheer up okay. we love you. )):
i need as many panadols as i can find. i'm gonna dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Nowadays, all of us have our own problems to think about. that's why sometimes, i'd rather keep my own troubles to myself, rather than to give more troubles to my girls.
Ytd night was at Punggol End. Sat on the beach & stared at the waves, which seemed especially strong last night. He told me alot of things, I know its true. But i can't get any of them into my head to stop thinking. He told me, i'm no longer the same. He told me, i no longer smile like the past.
Someone told me, once you get over this, you'll be a stronger person.
Last night, told Sok I really changed alot. She agreed, and she finds the change in me was scary. In the past, i was the most crappy one. always the one to be scolded for lame jokes. always the one with the most questions.
I asked her if she wanted me to be back to the old me, and she nodded her head immediately. hahs. i'll put in effort to remember the old me. its difficult, but i'll try. all i need is time.
Reminiscing about my blurry childhood Clouds floating through beautiful blue sky At that time you said, You wanna take my hand and walk with me till the end of time.
Since then, I'm afraid to look up It's like my sky has lost their colors After that day, I've forgotten to breathe My tears will no longer fall
Our love has gone and won't come back Until now, I'm still waiting silently Our love, I realized, has become a burden for you It's forever that I can't let go Of the last warmth, the warmth you gave
Won't ask if you still love me Right now I wish for my own freedom Far away from this constrained world No longer alone
i don't want to turn this way either. looking back, i really miss the old me. where you will say how stupid i am, how simple-minded i am. times when i couldn't get what any of you all were saying. times when i would just sit there and stare into space while you all continue talking about topics i don't understand. now these 2words have no connection with me.
in the past, i would get angry with my girls over a certain matter. but now, i'm in no position to be angry with you all. during the hard times, i've given you all so much headaches. guessed you all didn't know what to do with me either. all i can say is sorry.
so many things are happening at the same time, they're suffocating me. i don't know how to handle any of these. i'm really tired of pretending to be strong.
this morning, as i opened my eyes, the first thing i thought about was how good it is if you're still my listening ear. you've got no idea how much hurt you've left with me.
i hate what i'm seeing now, i wished it was all a nightmare. i'm sorry to all those i've disappoint.
i'm missing you alot now, though i know nothing would bring you back.
i don't wanna believe what i'm seeing. i really hope this isn't true.
god, don't be so cruel to me, will you?
i know i haven't been a good girl recently.
but this is really too much for me to take.
take me away from all these pain, i'm really breaking down,
Just came home not long ago. just now went to meet Enaye at mall. Walked for awhile and went coffeeshop for dinner.
Serangoon Gardens' Bulldog with JiaWen, Lulu, Pw & co. sudden decision. LOL. 3towers of beer. but didn't drink much cause i'm full. hahah. i think pw was the first player down.
Anyways, last night, meet up with the girls at mall. Had Cafe Cartel for dinner. Unhappy things happened. Sorry, shermin. was supposed to be a happy day but-
CantoRock after everything. Then went to des house cause i wanted to see how's jiawen. but he's slept like a pig. Hope he's fine. Talked very long with lulu. & steamboat for breakfast. hahaha!
I hope everything and everybody will be fine. including sok. cooping yourself up at home, avoiding us won't help.
i'm feeling abit tired alrdy. think i shall turn in early today. (maybe 5-6am) longer post next time.
i feel super uneasy right now. some unknown anger is rising up in me. oh man. i feel like beating up somebody.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
too many thoughts running through my mind. i don't know how i should handle it. sigh.
then i thought, maybe keeping things to myself wouldn't help. then again, talking things out wouldn't help either! ): how contradicting, i know. i'm about to burst with all these emotions.
by the way, jiawen is coming out real soon. i'll have a good talk with him, haha. though mostly will be crap.
anyway, i realize the word kiasu should be used on cheena ppl. damn them. i think they feel real high just squeezing ppl. wtf. s'pore gvt should ban or control the no. of cheena coming into our dear hometown.
i need to stock up my flu medicine. i think i need their help again tonight.
A hundred days have made me older, since the last time that I saw your pretty face. A thousand lies have made me colder, and I don't think I can look at this the same. But all the miles that separate, disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face.
I'm here without you baby, but you're still on my lonely mind. I think about you baby, and I dream about you all the time. I'm here without you baby, but you're still with me in my dreams. And tonight it's only you and me.
The miles just keep rollin', as the people leave their way to say hello. I've heard this life is overrated, but I hope that it gets better as we go.
Everything I know, and anywhere I go It gets hard but it wont take away my love. And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done It gets hard but it wont take away my love.