Back to the days when we were so young and wild and free
neverlookback-05.blogspot.com
♥ Tuesday, January 6, 2009♥
☆
2008 had been an eventful year. Many conflicts, disappointments. made me grow up alot.2008 is the major turning point of my life. I think of things from different perspectives. Made me give up on alot of things. I've caused many disappointments to those who really cared for me.
Seen who are those who really cared. Seen what humans can be like. Though i still can't understand why people behave like this. Nevertheless, seen a whole lot laughing stocks! bleah.
But, 2008 still ended on a happy note, with everybody back to one happy group.
let's hope 2009 will be a better year.
nobody will put themselves in your shoes.
nobody will know what you're thinking, how you feel. They just don't realize.
nobody will know what you're thinking, how you feel. They just don't realize.
Labels: thoughts
( 7:44 PM )
♥ Saturday, September 27, 2008♥
☆
i feel like dying.
i hate myself for being such a disappointment.
i hate myself for being such a failure.
i hate myself for causing so much hurt & disappointment for those people who really cared for me.
i hate myself for turning out this way.
nowadays, as i looked at myself in the mirror,
i wondered if that's me.
i'm trying to change, really.
back to how i was in the past.
it was harder than expected.
certain things, i can't let go now.
Labels: thoughts
( 8:36 PM )
♥ Monday, September 1, 2008♥
☆
changed my blog song!
i love it.
i love it.
徘了徊了走了 错了过了等了
累了全都困了 烦的乱的等的
都是真的
疯的想的念的 不安的焦虑的
复杂的梦过的 拥有的失去的
怎么忘呢
你做过的伤 放困了你爱的音
那天的我等着你等成了摆设
我的你的他的 好的坏的难的
灰的蓝的黄的 酸的甜的苦的
都还记得
非常想要忘的 绝对不能忘的
我心要换你的 真的不行那么
只得放了
环岛的火车载着我第几天了
忽然发现这一刻我不想你了
我的快乐 会回来的
只要清楚曾爱得那么深刻
不准问值不值得
我的快乐 会回来的
离开不是谁给了谁的选择
疯的想的念的 不安的焦虑的
复杂的梦过的 拥有的失去的
怎么忘呢
非常想要忘的 绝对不能忘的
我心要换你的 真的不行那么只得
放了放了......忘了......
I’ve wandered, I've walked, I've been wrong, I've waited
I’ve been tired, all these agitation, confusion and loneliness were real
I’ve gone mad, I’ve longed for, I’ve been insecure, I’ve been anxious
I’ve been blundered, I’ve dreamed, I’ve owned, I’ve lost
How am I to forget?
The hurt you made has closed its eyes
The music you loved to hear has stopped
I’ve waited for you till I’ve lost myself
Mine, yours, hers, the good, the bad, the difficult times,
I’ve been disheartened, I’ve gone through the sorrow,
All the aches, the sweetness, the bitterness
Still clear in my mind
The things I really wanted to forget were absolutely unforgettable
I wish to start anew; I no longer yearn for you
I should let go
The train has carried me around the island for so many days now
Suddenly I’ve realized at this moment, I no longer think of you
My happiness will return
So long as I understand how profound our love was
I will not seek to wonder if it was worthy or unworthy
My happiness will return
Leaving was not a matter of one giving a choice to another
I’ve gone mad, I’ve longed for, I’ve been insecure, I’ve been anxious
I’ve been blundered, I’ve dreamed, I’ve owned, I’ve lost
How am I to forget?
The things I really wanted to forget were absolutely unforgettable
I wish to start anew; I no longer yearn for you
I should let go
Must let go… Must be forgotten…
___________________________________________________
got so many assignments right now.
trying to do some research just now & the kids are making a din outside.
reminds of me how long i haven't been home on most evenings.
my head is gonna burst.
1 of the assignment will be about the supernatural.
sounds interesting huh?
& they're somehow planning a visit to haunted place like OCH?
i think i'll probably help them & act as the female ghost. (to make our job easier)
just now went to mall to buy some stationery & earpiece.
then met des & co at plaza.
was waiting for the 2rubber bands.
& what i got in return was aeroplane.
他妈的!!!!!!!!!!
then played photo hunt with xingsi.
& hougang really got no secrets. sigh!
haha. :x
then Jolene came, played pool.
Went downstairs alone & saw yetlim, baba & shawn!
hahaha. coincidence! chatted awhile.
then baba drove me back.
the things i've been holding onto, it seemed to be fading away now.
so unrealistic.
suddenly i realized, what's the purpose of this?
nothing.
it isn't worth it afterall.
after all these, this isn't what i wanted as well.
things shouldn't be this way.
i'll learn to be independent.
cause it does you no good to be dependent on anybody.
friends just come & go.
good friends can be easily replaced.
the more dependent you are, the deeper the scar you'll get.
we can't be sure things will remain unchanged 10years down the road.
i don't understand why people talk this way & behave another.
i never wanna know their reasons for doing so.
i think i've got split personality. die. :/
get back on the right track.
i'm totally out of control.
trying to do some research just now & the kids are making a din outside.
reminds of me how long i haven't been home on most evenings.
my head is gonna burst.
1 of the assignment will be about the supernatural.
sounds interesting huh?
& they're somehow planning a visit to haunted place like OCH?
i think i'll probably help them & act as the female ghost. (to make our job easier)
just now went to mall to buy some stationery & earpiece.
then met des & co at plaza.
was waiting for the 2rubber bands.
& what i got in return was aeroplane.
他妈的!!!!!!!!!!
then played photo hunt with xingsi.
& hougang really got no secrets. sigh!
haha. :x
then Jolene came, played pool.
Went downstairs alone & saw yetlim, baba & shawn!
hahaha. coincidence! chatted awhile.
then baba drove me back.
the things i've been holding onto, it seemed to be fading away now.
so unrealistic.
suddenly i realized, what's the purpose of this?
nothing.
it isn't worth it afterall.
after all these, this isn't what i wanted as well.
things shouldn't be this way.
i'll learn to be independent.
cause it does you no good to be dependent on anybody.
friends just come & go.
good friends can be easily replaced.
the more dependent you are, the deeper the scar you'll get.
we can't be sure things will remain unchanged 10years down the road.
i don't understand why people talk this way & behave another.
i never wanna know their reasons for doing so.
i think i've got split personality. die. :/
get back on the right track.
i'm totally out of control.
Labels: lyrics, music, SCHOOL, thoughts
( 5:57 PM )
♥ Tuesday, August 12, 2008♥
☆
when there's so many hidden secrets,
what's the point of everything?
Nowadays, all of us have our own problems to think about.
that's why sometimes, i'd rather keep my own troubles to myself,
rather than to give more troubles to my girls.
Ytd night was at Punggol End.
Sat on the beach & stared at the waves, which seemed especially strong last night.
He told me alot of things, I know its true.
But i can't get any of them into my head to stop thinking.
He told me, i'm no longer the same.
He told me, i no longer smile like the past.
Someone told me, once you get over this,
you'll be a stronger person.
Last night, told Sok I really changed alot.
She agreed, and she finds the change in me was scary.
In the past, i was the most crappy one.
always the one to be scolded for lame jokes.
always the one with the most questions.
I asked her if she wanted me to be back to the old me,
and she nodded her head immediately.
hahs.
i'll put in effort to remember the old me.
its difficult, but i'll try.
all i need is time.
i'll be back...
soon.
回忆里想起模糊的小时候
云朵漂浮在蓝蓝的天空
那时候的你说
要和我手牵手 一起走到时间的尽头
从此以后我都不敢抬头看
彷佛我的天空失去了颜色
从那一天起 我忘记了呼吸
眼泪啊永远不再 不再哭泣
我们的爱 过了就不再回来
直到现在我还默默的等待
我们的爱我明白 以变成你的负担
只是永远 我都放不开
最后的温暖 你给的温暖
不要再问你是否爱我
现在我想要自由的天空
远离开这被捆绑的世界
不再寂寞
Reminiscing about my blurry childhood
Clouds floating through beautiful blue sky
At that time you said,
You wanna take my hand and walk with me till the end of time.
Since then, I'm afraid to look up
It's like my sky has lost their colors
After that day, I've forgotten to breathe
My tears will no longer fall
Our love has gone and won't come back
Until now, I'm still waiting silently
Our love, I realized, has become a burden for you
It's forever that I can't let go
Of the last warmth, the warmth you gave
Won't ask if you still love me
Right now I wish for my own freedom
Far away from this constrained world
No longer alone
Labels: lyrics, music, thoughts, troubles
( 6:35 PM )
♥ Monday, August 11, 2008♥
☆
you're not here for me,
afterall.
i don't want to turn this way either.
looking back, i really miss the old me.
where you will say how stupid i am, how simple-minded i am.
times when i couldn't get what any of you all were saying.
times when i would just sit there and stare into space while you all continue talking about topics i don't understand.
now these 2words have no connection with me.
in the past, i would get angry with my girls over a certain matter.
but now, i'm in no position to be angry with you all.
during the hard times, i've given you all so much headaches.
guessed you all didn't know what to do with me either.
all i can say is sorry.
so many things are happening at the same time,
they're suffocating me.
i don't know how to handle any of these.
i'm really tired of pretending to be strong.
this morning, as i opened my eyes,
the first thing i thought about was
how good it is if you're still my listening ear.
you've got no idea how much hurt you've left with me.
i hate what i'm seeing now,
i wished it was all a nightmare.
i'm sorry to all those i've disappoint.
i'm missing you alot now, though i know nothing would bring you back.
i don't wanna believe what i'm seeing. i really hope this isn't true.
god, don't be so cruel to me, will you?
i know i haven't been a good girl recently.
but this is really too much for me to take.
take me away from all these pain, i'm really breaking down,
this is my limit.
( 4:55 PM )
♥ Saturday, August 9, 2008♥
☆
butterfly effect
just came back from breakfast with chiwawa & lulu.
they told me,
my face is becoming more shag.
i hope they're just lying to me. ):
last night, met up with the girls.
joe's corner.
talked alot.
then chatted with jw & sok at my house there.
not much of a chat.
more like, confessions and quarrels.
but its all settled, i think.
all i can say is, sorry for everything.
when you went in, we brought you nothing but bad news.
the same goes to it when you're out. ):
sorry for all the disappointment.
i forgot to mention, received Sam's letter a few days back.
definitely brought back so much memories.
i miss Sam & Kayslyn.
bet if they were here for me, i wouldn't be how i am now.
Sam would cheer me up with her jokes, & I would be too occupied with Kayslyn's complains to bother about anything else. haaa. :x
but, i chose this path. i'll face the consequences myself. =/
then again, think of the disappointment they will have in me,
& i don't know how to face them.
i've experienced so much disappointment in the past,
and it really hurts.
ironic.
msg-ed Sok last night, cos i couldn't get to sleep.
i don't think she saw my msg, cos she fell asleep.
i hope i'm not being selfish by doing it my own way.
another sorry.
argh. time to sleep.
later meeting my girls to celebrate shermin's birthday.
not to forget,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SINGAPORE.
i'm proud to be s'porean yeahhhhh. hahs.
Labels: thoughts
( 9:31 AM )
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♥ felicia goh; #o5
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