Back to the days when we were so young and wild and free
neverlookback-05.blogspot.com
♥ Sunday, November 2, 2008♥
☆
boring sunday. i need to get my ass out of the house later on. gotta go shop for present.
& i desperately need to change my phone. i think i'm developing a destructive character. laptop first & then my handphone.
anyway, dad is being crazy. i don't know what he's thinking. wth.
no mood no mood. stressing over my studies. exam on tuesday. ):
anyway, was supposed to meet bf that day & he didn't pick up all our calls. in the end, sok accompanied me over to his hse to wake him up. lol. think he got a shock. hahahs. was super funny. thank you, sokkie. :D
Lately I've been thinking about what I can do I've been stressing to fall back in love with you I'm so sorry that I couldn't follow through But I can't go on this way. I've got to stop it babe You've been wonderful in all that you can be But it hurts when you say that you understand me So believe me. I, I am sorry, I, I am sorry, I, I
I wanted you to be there when I fall I wanted you to see me through it all I wanted you to be the one I loved I wanted you, I wanted you I wanted you to hold me in my sleep I wanted you to show me what I need I wanted you to know just how down deep I wanted you, I wanted you
I've been pushing hard to open up the door Trying to take us back to where we were before But I'm done. I just can't do this anymore 'Cause we can't be mended, so let's stop pretending now We've been walking around in circles for some time And I think we should head for the finish line So believe me. I, I am sorry, I, I am sorry, I, I
I, I... I'm so sorry baby But I, I... I gotta pack up and leave But I, I'll always remember how we came close ... to being how I wanted to be I wanted you baby I wanted you
I’ve wandered, I've walked, I've been wrong, I've waited I’ve been tired, all these agitation, confusion and loneliness were real I’ve gone mad, I’ve longed for, I’ve been insecure, I’ve been anxious I’ve been blundered, I’ve dreamed, I’ve owned, I’ve lost How am I to forget?
The hurt you made has closed its eyes The music you loved to hear has stopped I’ve waited for you till I’ve lost myself
Mine, yours, hers, the good, the bad, the difficult times, I’ve been disheartened, I’ve gone through the sorrow, All the aches, the sweetness, the bitterness Still clear in my mind
The things I really wanted to forget were absolutely unforgettable I wish to start anew; I no longer yearn for you I should let go The train has carried me around the island for so many days now Suddenly I’ve realized at this moment, I no longer think of you
My happiness will return So long as I understand how profound our love was I will not seek to wonder if it was worthy or unworthy My happiness will return Leaving was not a matter of one giving a choice to another
I’ve gone mad, I’ve longed for, I’ve been insecure, I’ve been anxious I’ve been blundered, I’ve dreamed, I’ve owned, I’ve lost How am I to forget?
The things I really wanted to forget were absolutely unforgettable I wish to start anew; I no longer yearn for you I should let go
Must let go… Must be forgotten… ___________________________________________________
got so many assignments right now. trying to do some research just now & the kids are making a din outside. reminds of me how long i haven't been home on most evenings. my head is gonna burst.
1 of the assignment will be about the supernatural. sounds interesting huh? & they're somehow planning a visit to haunted place like OCH? i think i'll probably help them & act as the female ghost. (to make our job easier)
just now went to mall to buy some stationery & earpiece. then met des & co at plaza. was waiting for the 2rubber bands. & what i got in return was aeroplane. 他妈的!!!!!!!!!!
then played photo hunt with xingsi. & hougang really got no secrets. sigh! haha. :x then Jolene came, played pool. Went downstairs alone & saw yetlim, baba & shawn! hahaha. coincidence! chatted awhile. then baba drove me back.
the things i've been holding onto, it seemed to be fading away now. so unrealistic. suddenly i realized, what's the purpose of this? nothing. it isn't worth it afterall. after all these, this isn't what i wanted as well. things shouldn't be this way.
i'll learn to be independent. cause it does you no good to be dependent on anybody. friends just come & go. good friends can be easily replaced. the more dependent you are, the deeper the scar you'll get. we can't be sure things will remain unchanged 10years down the road.
i don't understand why people talk this way & behave another. i never wanna know their reasons for doing so. i think i've got split personality. die. :/
get back on the right track. i'm totally out of control.
i realized i'm blogging 2-3days of stuffs in 1post. & i realized my memory is failing me. =.=" old alrdy lo!
250808; monday went school in the morning. & i got to know of a pretty girl. at first, i thought she was 中国人or something. but then i relized her english was just slang. hahha. she's quite a nice person. & she's 20 but doesn't quite look like it.
it was quite awkward, actually. cause she's like an extrovert & i'm introvert (to strangers). & i feel so embarassed cause she did most of the talking. got into the same group as her for group assignment.
went town to buy storybook. Breaking Dawn. hahah! i love that book. ((((: got myself a new top/shorts as well. then i went back home to get my lappy. bought food for lulu & went up to des house. i told lulu he elbowed my face.
lu: huh? got meh? when? me: got! that day lor, i act as ghost scare you & you elbow my face. don't rmb? you still got say sorry. lu: really ah? then you deserved it!
AS EXPECTED!!!
hahah! that bastard. after that, i fell asleep for awhile. then went over to plaza with des & marcus.
charmaine called me, told me something. hahaha. got me so excited. hougang is so damn small. :/ i hope fun is coming.
went home to put my stuffs, came out later in the night. before gg home, meet up with charmaine to chat for awhile. ((:
tuesday; 260808 sneaked off during break time. hahah! no choice. lesson is super boring! could just fall asleep.
went sher's house. slacked & chatted with her. then accompanied her to see doctor then kovan to buy her stuffs. slacked again.
went back her house cause she needed my legs & hips for experiment. hahah! :x then i started trying her jeans & skirt. so funny. i look like some mad woman with the short jeans.
have a good laugh!
looks like '38' though. hahs!
after that, went back to hg plaza to meet lulu & co. lulu was supposed to go back to surrender. then they had sushi for dinner.
they went off to des house & i went home. super good girl. sigh.
todayyyyyyyyyy, went to school AGAIN! when i was on my way there, jw called me and crapped.
& since i was so late, i decided to go in during break. Sok woke up & caught me and jw talking on the phone. LOL!!!!!!!!!
then the nice girl helped me with something. & she actually apologized cause she thinks she's bossy. (cause she helped me) lol. such a cute person. apologizing when i should actually thank her. haha.
&& now here i am, updating my blog. i'm gg out for dinner with lulu & co later on. then will be sending him back to his camp with jw they all later on.
no more stunts from him! lol.
my clean table. (or so i thought)
i suddenly remembered i've got tons of baby photos to post. hahahah! :x
& i've got like cracked lips, ulcers. wtf. )):
i've just discovered something very sickening. i see you're alrdy planning your revenge. wow, this always changes when you've got someone to back you up.
hide & move your family out when you've got no friends. & when you've got a miserable few- you know what you do. (: ---------
遇到-my favourite song of 'It Started With a Kiss'. ((:
你身上专属的陌生味道 是我确认你存在的目标 不用来回张望来知道 竟是我们相隔着一个街角
这么久了我还是可以看到 感觉得到你对我的重要 不会被天黑天亮打扰 你每一次的温柔我都想炫耀
我们绕了这么一圈才遇到 我比谁都更明白你的重要 这么久了我就决定了 决定了你的手我握了不会放掉
我们绕了这么一圈才遇到 我答应自己不再庸人自扰 因为我要的我自己知道 只要你的肩膀依然让我靠
'We finally meet after going around in a circle. I understand your importance more than anyone else does. It's been a long time coming and I have since decided, Decided that, now that I've held your hand, I'm not going to let go.
We finally meet after going around in a circle. And I have promised myself never to be like the foolish people who create trouble for themselves again. Because I am sure of what I want. As long as your shoulder is there for me to lean on, just like before.'
And if I open my heart again, I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end.
i haven't realized its thursday alrdy. oh man. school starts next week. but i'm kind of excited. better than sleeping everyday away. :/
last night, meet up with val, sher, alex at green. they're having their dinner there.
then went upstairs to chill. yetlim, maltida, sok came later on. okay. maybe we should change our slacking place to there. LOL.
then saw ivan, royce, baba & co. haha. chit chatted. talked about lame jokes. & shermin's 'valekum'. hahah!
after that, sok and me walked to hg park to wait for jw & co. CHARMAINE'S BIRTHDAY. ((: they planning to cut cake for her. and when Frankie arrived with the cake, she almost cried. hahaha.
meddling with the candles.
fat bullying the small sized one.SMILE!
trying hard to blow the last candle.the 2monkeys planning to smash cake alrdy. they said, 'we make it easier for you, we put the cake on plate, easier to bite candle out.' then they hold the plate for charmaine and ask her bite. before she bite, the cake is alrdy on her face. LOL. go away lah!
ah!!!!!!!!!!
chocolate.... ):
the youngest couple! hahaha!
see! they're so entertained by 'valekum' as well! (:
& on tuesday night, went over to des house for mahjong.
with linny, Sok, Jw.
he said i tricked him into saying okay. Cause he wanted to sleep. But i swear i nv hear that he's sick. my poor xiao laogong. lol.
maybe i'll make honey drink for him. LOL!
After mj session, we're all discussing how much we've changed,
compared to 2years ago.
omg. i have sucky pictures in linny's phone. haaa.
then we slacked & chatted at 684 till morning.
lulu & dixon was there also.
i heard about des' roast pig joke.
it was hilarious. :D
(Drew Barrymore)
I've been living with a shadow overhead,
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed,
I've been lonely for so long,
trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on.
(Hugh Grant)
I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away,
just in case I ever need them again someday,
I've been setting aside time,
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind!
(Both)
All I want to do is find a way back into love.
I can't make it through without a way back into love.
Oooooh.
(Drew Barrymore)
I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine,
I've been searching but i just don't see the signs,
I know that it's out there,
there's got to be something for my soul somewhere.
(Hugh Grant)
I've been looking for someone to shed some light,
Not somebody just to get me through the night,
I could use some direction, And I'm open to your suggestions.
(Both)
All I want to do is find a way back into love.
I can't make it through without a way back into love.
And if I open my heart again,
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end.
(Drew Barrymore)
There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation
All I want to do is find a way back into love,
I can't make it through without a way back into love,
Nowadays, all of us have our own problems to think about. that's why sometimes, i'd rather keep my own troubles to myself, rather than to give more troubles to my girls.
Ytd night was at Punggol End. Sat on the beach & stared at the waves, which seemed especially strong last night. He told me alot of things, I know its true. But i can't get any of them into my head to stop thinking. He told me, i'm no longer the same. He told me, i no longer smile like the past.
Someone told me, once you get over this, you'll be a stronger person.
Last night, told Sok I really changed alot. She agreed, and she finds the change in me was scary. In the past, i was the most crappy one. always the one to be scolded for lame jokes. always the one with the most questions.
I asked her if she wanted me to be back to the old me, and she nodded her head immediately. hahs. i'll put in effort to remember the old me. its difficult, but i'll try. all i need is time.
Reminiscing about my blurry childhood Clouds floating through beautiful blue sky At that time you said, You wanna take my hand and walk with me till the end of time.
Since then, I'm afraid to look up It's like my sky has lost their colors After that day, I've forgotten to breathe My tears will no longer fall
Our love has gone and won't come back Until now, I'm still waiting silently Our love, I realized, has become a burden for you It's forever that I can't let go Of the last warmth, the warmth you gave
Won't ask if you still love me Right now I wish for my own freedom Far away from this constrained world No longer alone
i feel super uneasy right now. some unknown anger is rising up in me. oh man. i feel like beating up somebody.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
too many thoughts running through my mind. i don't know how i should handle it. sigh.
then i thought, maybe keeping things to myself wouldn't help. then again, talking things out wouldn't help either! ): how contradicting, i know. i'm about to burst with all these emotions.
by the way, jiawen is coming out real soon. i'll have a good talk with him, haha. though mostly will be crap.
anyway, i realize the word kiasu should be used on cheena ppl. damn them. i think they feel real high just squeezing ppl. wtf. s'pore gvt should ban or control the no. of cheena coming into our dear hometown.
i need to stock up my flu medicine. i think i need their help again tonight.
A hundred days have made me older, since the last time that I saw your pretty face. A thousand lies have made me colder, and I don't think I can look at this the same. But all the miles that separate, disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face.
I'm here without you baby, but you're still on my lonely mind. I think about you baby, and I dream about you all the time. I'm here without you baby, but you're still with me in my dreams. And tonight it's only you and me.
The miles just keep rollin', as the people leave their way to say hello. I've heard this life is overrated, but I hope that it gets better as we go.
Everything I know, and anywhere I go It gets hard but it wont take away my love. And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done It gets hard but it wont take away my love.
just came back home nt long ago. i'm feeling tired alrdy. though i took a nap till 7 just now. :/
hahah. meet up with yetlim, sok, baba & co to slack at yetlim house there. then was crapping until baba told us a ghostly encounter & freaked all of us out. hahah. yetlim went home & he drove me home. & the rest of them went macs.
shall go write letters now! jiawen will be out next week!
在东京铁塔 第一次眺望
看灯火模仿 坠落的星光 我终於到达 但却更悲伤 一个人完成 我们的梦想
你总说 时间还很多 你可以等我
以前我不懂得 未必明天 就有以后
想念是会呼吸的痛 它活在我身上所有角落
哼你爱的歌会痛 看你的信会痛 连沉默也痛 遗憾是会呼吸的痛 它流在血液中来回滚动
后悔不贴心会痛 恨不懂你会痛
想见不能见最痛
没看你脸上 张扬过哀伤 那是种多么 寂寞的倔强 你拆了城墙 让我去流浪
在原地等我 把自己捆绑
你没说 你也会软弱 需要依赖我 我就装不晓得 自由移动 自我地过
我发誓不再说谎了 多爱你就会抱你多紧的
我的微笑都假了 灵魂像飘浮著 你在就好了
我发誓不让你等候 陪你做想做的无论什么
我越来越像贝壳 怕心被人触碰 你回来那就好了 能重来那就好了
At the Tokyo Tower, first time looking out Looking at the lights, imitating the fallen star
I’ve finally arrived but sadder than before
I‘ve achieved our dream by myself
You’ve always said, there is still lots of time, you can wait for me In the past, I didn’t understand even if there’s tomorrow, doesn’t mean there’s a future
Missing you is the pain that breathes, it lives on every part of my body Humming the song you loved hurts, looking at your letters hurts, even the silence hurts Regret is the pain that breathes, it flows back and forth within my blood Regretting not have cared enough hurts, hating not have understood you enough hurts,
Wanting to see you but can’t hurts the most
Didn’t see any sadness come across your face
That is such a lonely stubbornness
You’ve taken away the safety wall, and let me out on my own Staying put, I’ve bundled myself up
You didn’t say, that you may become weak too, needed my support
I pretended that I didn’t know, moved freely, lived my own life
I promise I won’t lie any more, how tight I hold you means how much I love you
My smile is all fake now, my soul seems to be just floating, it’ll be okay if you are here I promise I won’t let you wait, I’ll be with you for whatever you want to do I’m more and more like a shell, afraid of being contacted by people, it’ll be okay if you are back
yes. another 18years old. hahs. super good girl ytd. stayed at home & studied. fell asleep at 6plus this morning, woke up at 8.
i think the medication gives me serious mood swing. then before i slept, i felt giddy, headache. & almost vomitted. maybe i'm dying soon. (i hope) something's so wrong with me these few days. i need to go mental hospital for a check up.
i don't have enough sleep. & guess what? i lost my way to sch today. lol. cause i bus-ed there for the first time & i don't know where to alight. & i studied for my exam, but my mind is blank when i saw the qns. ):
i'm off to get my nap. meeting the girls tonight, i guess. (:
The rain just never seems to bring the joy, i feel the same. Everlasting pain of my loss remains. My heart cant seem to learn to part The hold you left your mark All that i dreamed of now it seems so stark
Though i told myself i wont hold my breath, a part of me was dying There is nothing left for me to do now but give in
*If you gave me one chance to tell you how i was feeling,I would sing to you and tell you i wont live my life w/o you. If you gave me one chance to tell you how i was feeling,I would hold your hand and look in your eyes And you know I'd never let you go..
The way, you left me on the train I don't know what to say I remember everything on that day
I can't believe we'd never dance I just need one more chance to share the sunset our one last romance